Hello! It has been a while, although I do realize several of one of my last few posts start the same way.
A year and a half ago, I relocated back to the US from Germany and have been meaning to write about many things since then - my summer trip around the Greek islands (a childhood dream come true), a weekend escapade to Amsterdam (for which I regrettably decided to get a haircut the day before, and let's just say it was possibly the worst haircut I have gotten in my adult life), a visit to Dubrovnik (which as a happy coincidence spanned Croatia's independence day and in which I got to explore what I now think is the most beautiful city I have been to and its complex history - much of which I ignored before the trip), Polish folk tales that I discovered and loved from a book I got while in Krakow, my relocation to Boston (and the confusion caused by the many reverse culture shocks I endured after having wholeheartedly missed the US for a year), my life as a graduate student at Harvard, my summer adventures in the Pacific Northwest, the many mishaps I experienced in Seattle, the mischiefs (and charms) of my dog Sofia, and a lot more.
Of course, I never did. Something always came up and, as much as I enjoy writing, it takes a certain effort - a very different one from the one involved in coding or doing math. It's like I can actually feel a different part of my brain working hard, and after long, stressful days trying to keep up with the demands of grad school, I would usually just postpone writing until another day.
A friend I hadn't talked to in a while recently messaged me and asked about my writing. And it finally hit me that I had been postponing this for almost two years now, and that I actually really missed it. So here I am again. Since there was so much I wanted to talk about before, I decided to go through an update of sorts, and so I will start with the place that has essentially taken over my life: Harvard.
Berlin to Harvard
The last time I wrote, I had just decided to attend Harvard for grad school, but time flies and I am now in my last semester! I have a lot to say about my experience here, but I will focus on two of the most recurrent themes I have encountered.
"A Little"
When I was growing up, I learned how to play some piano. But I always focused more on violin and piano was more like a side thing, plus I haven't really played in years. So when anyone asks me if I can play the piano, I say I can play a little. After getting to Harvard, I met a lot of people who also said they could play a little. And well, imagine my surprise when I saw these same people flawlessly playing entire concerts and symphonies! And the embarrassment that came with the realization that they probably expected me to play as skillfully as they did.
I'm not sure what it is, but I have found that almost nobody here will actually admit that they are really good at something. Instead, they will say they know a little or have done a little or understand a little, when they really mean a lot. This is true not only for piano but also (and especially) for academics, and even for hobbies!
Last year, I mentioned to a friend that I enjoyed biking and suggested we should bike together sometime. By that, I meant maybe getting a Blue Bike and riding around Cambridge (or as far as Boston, which for reference is roughly 8 kilometers away, if I was feeling particularly motivated) for 30 or 40 minutes. His response? He proceeded to propose we went biking for almost 25 kilometers (!) to a beach outing organized by the Graduate School of Arts and Sciences, as if it was the most natural thing in the world.
A Normal Day
This is probably not a big surprise, but everyone here is so talented. Never had I been surrounded by so many accomplished people, and I kind of expected it already but it really has surpassed all my expectations. On any given day, I might meet a seemingly normal person and later find out that they are a highly accomplished scientist, entrepreneur, businessperson, engineer, politician, or even an award-winning artist. Or sometimes I'm working on something and I'm struggling, and then someone else just effortlessly gets it. The other day in class, we were solving an equation, and I was still typing the word "calculator" on my laptop to try to find the app when someone behind me just blurted out the answer. And even though it's been a year and a half, it still blows my mind sometimes.
Harvard also offers a lot of unique experiences and opportunities. In fact, there's so much going on that events and activities that I believe would be highly publicized at other schools sometimes go almost without mention here. The flip side of this is that I have actually found it really hard to keep up and find the time to do everything I want to do, especially with the heavy academic workload, and I know many others feel the same way.
On Monday, on email from the School of Engineering and Applied Sciences (which is just one of the myriad of communities at Harvard), I was notified about more than 40 events and opportunities for the upcoming days, including lightning talks, fashion shows, industry insights, career fairs, entrepreneurship-related gatherings, career advice, alumni panels, social activities and more. And just this week, I attended a pizza lunch with Lina Khan and will be meeting a former president of Colombia
"Maybe happiness is this: not feeling like you should be somewhere else, doing something else, being someone else."
I have had (and continue to have) ups and downs, a lot of stress and headaches, and many complaints (ask anyone who heard me vent, sometimes for hours, about topics like dining hall food), but all in all my time at Harvard has honestly been one of the best of my entire life. I have learned so much - not just academically but also about myself, about what I want and what I don't want for my future, I have met amazing people, I have rediscovered areas I am passionate about and realized there are others I am simply not as interested in as I thought I was, and I have had many experiences I wouldn't have been able to have anywhere else.
When I was weighing the pros and cons of grad school and the merits of Harvard versus other schools, I couldn't help but wonder whether I was making the right decision. And this all may be confirmation bias by now, but I really think it was. There is much I want to do here that I simply don't have time for, but perhaps for the first time in my life, I really feel like I am where I am supposed to be, doing the things I am supposed to do, and being who I want to be.
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